I hate not being able to express myself on my normal blog because I have all of my friends following me and judging me if I write that my life isn’t going good or if I don’t feel great. I don’t feel great right now and it’s a mixture of Tyler and family problems which is the worst kind of mixture and always gets me down more than anything else. I haven’t seen Tyler in almost a week so things are really strange and I can’t help but feel like shit because our conversations are just really bland and bad and I was clearly upset and the whole night all he’s talked about is jokingly saying things about other girls being hot or whatever and it’s just not what I want to hear to be honest. I don’t want to end the relationship over something so childish but it honestly gets to me like just fucking break up with me if this is how it’s going to be, I’m done with feeling upset, I felt like that all the time for the past three years for certain reasons to do with our relationship and I don’t want that anymore. And he always says he feels bad because he can’t make m happy but who the fuck would feel happy if their boyfriend is joking around about other girls being hot and sending nudes to a porn star or something like IM NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD HONESTLY- any other day or with any other person it would be fine but not today and not with me because I’m at the end of my tether. I’ve had so much to deal with lately and just having a boyfriend that is nice and supportive and just says really nice things to me would be great because I’m not going to get any fucking happier otherwise. And I know I’m seeing him tomorrow and things will probably be fine after that but they’re not right now and it’s not going to change the fact that im upset right now about everything that’s happened. I just want to sit here and cry because if I read the messages over they just make me feel like absolute absolute shit. I am just really upset tonight. And it fucking sucks tbh.